Not Being Pregnant Sucks


In early April my husband and I decided to have the birth control implant in my arm removed so we could start our family. I have yet to get regular periods and cant get pregnant. I know that we haven’t really been trying for very long but I could be half way through a pregnancy by now! I feel a bit broken or like an IKEA desk without all the right parts. Everyone around me is getting pregnant too. Some I feel are even taking their buns for granted and being selfish (but that’s a whole other rant of how not believing smoking is bad for the baby is not the same as the freaking Easter Bunny).

Mostly I feel in a rush to get pregnant and have the ‘2 of ours’ so we can find the ‘2 to be ours’. I’m about one more ‘We’re Expecting!’ Facebook post from storming the Maine state capitol and demanding that my babies from another uterus be given to me- immediately (or hopping on a plane to which ever country will let me bring some children home the fastest).

I know my biological kids will have their dad’s nose and doomed to massive eyebrows. They may or may not be born blonde but will most likely be natural brunettes by the time they hit puberty. I know that one will probably have blue eyes. I know they’ll be fair skinned but tan beautifully. There is no mystery what my children will be like, but my adopted children are.

I dream of my adoptive children the most. I wonder where they will be from and what they will look like. I wonder about the people who will create them and what will happen in their lives that will make their children mine.


In any event, my doctor suspects that I might have PCOS. I’ve had a few clients with this condition but ill save that for another post!


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