My husband and I have been discussing the future of our family lately.
I had always thought that I would either adopt all or none of my children. Adoption is something that is a part of my family, I have family members that were adopted, some were genetic strangers and others were actually relatives- one was even put up for adoption and is now a part of my family. Adoption was always a thought of mine, I even joke that I’ll get kids of all races and have international themed food nights like ‘Sushi Tuesdays’.
At the same time though I held fears that I would not have the same level of affection and love for my adopted children as my genetic children if I had both. My worst fear would be for my adoptive children to feel like they didn’t belong.
I began talking about adoption with some other navy wives and some of them had similar plans. Most of them wanted to adopt older children, who are harder to find homes for because of their age. In one of my conversations I had a life changing realization.
In my mind I had always imagined adopting a child would be like they just magically showed up one day physically and emotionally. I’ve come to realize though that reality is nothing like that. The adoption process can take years longer than a pregnancy and at any point your future children can no longer be yours.
Ever since mine and my husbands decision, I have found myself thinking about my future children in a whole new light. They’re not simply an idea anymore. They are out there- and I don’t know where, who they are, or when I will finally meet them (they’re still just eggs at this point!) but I find myself longing for them because they are MINE. They should be with ME.
Since that epiphany of my emotions I realized I am ready for them. That they will always be in my thoughts specially through my pregnancies with my genetic children and when I finally meet them there will be not difference in my love for any of my children.